Goldman Sachs | MIDDLE-AGED MAN BLAH'G

by John D’oh!

Q: If a racehorse can be put out to stud, why can’t you?

A: Because you’re not a horse and life isn’t fair anyway.

After a few years of running in races and looking cool they ‘retire‘ by being put to pasture and get to have sex with a bunch of receptive females. Not bad.

Of course, it’s not all a run for the roses. Check the Pros and Cons of being a horse…

PROS

1) You’re hung like a horse

2) You’re shiny

3) Chick horses dig you

4) You’re fast

5) You’re hung like a horse

CONS

1) If you break your leg they shoot you

2) A midget sits on your back and beats you senseless

3) Buck teeth

4) No thumbs, hands, arms or fingers

5) Your midlife crisis happens when you’re 4

But let’s get serious for a moment, shall we?

Shrinking nest eggs, working into your 70s, lowering your standard of living. Isn’t it enough to have a midlife crisis? We have to have an economic one too?

It doesn’t take a corrupt Wall Street hedge fund manager to tell you that it’s tougher to retire during an economic crisis. The markets are down and your retirement accounts have lost a substantial amount of their value. Every day brings a new surprise, with stocks and mutual funds bouncing from highs to lows in a single day. Plus, we had to sit through those senate hearing with the likes of Goldman Sachs. Yech…

You want to retire. You’ve worked hard and sacrificed to get to this point.

Now’s the time to enjoy a little

FREEDOM!

The recession and the sluggish economy that followed have been blamed for causing untold numbers of 60-somethings to postpone their retirement and continue working. Many would-be retirees blame themselves for not having enough money to retire. Many look back on their savings habits and realize they made a series of mistakes that ended up dramatically shrinking their retirement nest eggs.

Click for some great articles about retirement in a sluggish economy.

John D’oh!