We’ve all been there…in the middle of your kid’s piano recital you start laughing for some unfathomable reason at the 6 year old trying to play Claire de Lune. Think of Mary Tyler Moore at Chuckles the Clown’s funeral or Elaine from Seinfeld when Jerry put the Pez dispenser on her armrest during a live show.
How can you stop it? It comes on voluntarily like a sneeze and everything seems funny.
Here are the 3 ‘H’s’, designed to help you stave off the socially awkward convulsions that could render you a pariah.
#1 THE HOLOCAUST
Next time you start giggling during that important board meeting think of the nearly 6 million Jews eradicated by the Nazis during WWII. Perhaps anecdotal at first, think about it deeply and it’ll sure to send a chill down your spine. *NOTE: if it doesn’t work you’re probably evil.
Closely related to #1 and certainly its instigator, Hitler was responsible for millions of innocent lives lost. If this doesn’t work you’re definitely evil.
#3 THE HINDENBURG
“Oh the humanity!” Why did the pilot fly so close to that tower? What the hell happened there? If this doesn’t make you stop laughing nothing will.
I’m just a simple man with a simple dream: Driving a boring old four-wheeled car with the family. Pressing a button. And splitting the vehicle into two badass motorcycles.
But unlike most men, I can abuse my powers of the press, and hijack designers at Cadillac (then later, Chipp Walters at Argodesign) to turn my idea into reality. Or at least, that was the plan. You’ll have to watch the video to see how things turned out.
As many of you know, coming up with a suitable blog post day after day can be somewhat daunting…which is why I do it about once every 6 years.
I have a fair number of ideas but I’m either too lazy, tired or suffer from too much self-censorship.
That being said: this morning I came up with the BRILLIANT idea to rank the TOP 5 COFFEE MUGS IN MY CABINET.
WHAT COULD BE MORE EXCITING?!?
Let’s start with my LEAST favorite mug: ‘BLUE CLAMMY’
‘Blue Clammy’ looks halfway decent, evoking the image of a middle-aged woman sipping tea whilst tending to her garden in April, and can hold a ton ‘o java but I’ve been burned – literally – by it many a time. Throw it in the microwave for a minute and forget to grab the handle and you’ll melt off your fingerprints. Warning to the lady tending her garden: WEAR GLOVES WHILST SIPPING TEA!
#5 ‘MOM’S MUG’
This one came in at #5 and would have been ranked higher if it would have said ‘I’M A DAD, WHAT’S YOUR SUPERPOWER?’ I got this for my wife last year and I use it more than she does. Once again, made of the light ceramic and will singe off your fingertips if you do not hold the handle.
#4 ‘THE STRAND’
‘The Strand’ used to be #1 for a LOOOONG time. Having been faded by thousands of dish-washer cycles along with the resurgence of #’s 3,2 and 1 ‘The Strand’ has unfortunately dropped several notches in recent weeks. ‘The Strand’ used to be my go-to every day for many years simply for the fact that I liked the way it looked and seemed bookish and urbane in a bohemian way. ‘The Strand’ may soon be usurped by ‘The Strand 2’ soon as the real bookstore is about 2 blocks from my office. Don’t worry, this coffee classic is destined to stay in the cabinet for many years to come.
Love the jar even though it has a chip (see other side of rim). Would have been #2 if not for the chip. This is a great mug to demonstrate to my 2 year old how coffee works when cream is added and the steeping of a tea bag. Good times. It has that semi-country vibe and is well-suited to sipping whilst reading the paper in the sunroom on a Sunday morning.
#2 ‘MAD MAN’
I don’t know where ‘Mad Man’ came from but he’s been my go-to as of late. Sturdy, voluminous and well-insulated, I don’t have to worry about ever about burning my fingers and it keeps the beverage warm for quite a long time. ‘Man Man’ follows me around the house 50% of the time and when I don’t know where ‘Mad Man’ is I get anxious. See you tomorrow ‘Mad Man’ and thanks for the great service.
#1 ‘ARTWORK BY WALT’
‘Artwork by Walt’ is a mug I got for my birthday from my nephew Walt who painted the picture you see when he was about 11 years old. Not only is it a sentimental fave, the painting is great for an 11 year old. This picture doesn’t do it justice but the colors really pop and the composition and execution belies his 11 years. He’s now 16 and has a driver’s license. For several years this mug wasn’t used too often and was more of a decorative piece. Lately it’s been a steady go-to, doesn’t burn my fingers and is in excellent condition. Thanks Walt for making ‘Artwork by Walt’ #1!